thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
