do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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