They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize