The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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