so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
