I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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