And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You made out with two different species that night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
