I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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