eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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