you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
