Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
