Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
