I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
