part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
