I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
