So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
4 words: hood of his car
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I will pee on everything he values.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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