i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
