When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize