Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
