I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
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He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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