I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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