The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
