She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
