Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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