where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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