Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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