She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
