this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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