3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
