We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize