Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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