I molested 6 butterflies tonight
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
