Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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