I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Then you guys just all showered together...?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
