I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
