Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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