Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
