this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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