The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You made out with two different species that night
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
