Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
