sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
