here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
