I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
