dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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