i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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