I just saw a hot homeless man
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
