I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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