he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
