The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
