Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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