Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
