yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
