my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
