I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize