If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
