Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
