Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
