Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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